Payday

Today was payday and I usually attribute this day with anxiety. Anxiety because, as I mentioned in a previous post, I have struggled with money management most of my adult life. To me, payday has always signified the day that I can go out and blow it all away on non-essentials, but no more. Today, payday signified a sense of empowerment and a choice to make more effective decisions/choices for me and my family. For the first time in a very long time, my husband and I actually sat down together, reviewed what bills needed paying and accomplished the task together. It felt really good to have this level of communication with my husband because it had been far too long.

Unfortunately, I think that money mismanagement plays a much bigger role in our lives than we would like to admit. The inability or unwilligness to manage money properly and responsibly, causes many, many problems including, but not limited to depression, anxiety, anger, resentment, and fear. One of the most difficult things to do is actually let go and admit that there is a problem. Once the hurdle of acknowledging that a problem exists, the next steps don't seem to be as uncomfortable or foreboding, but it still involves a lot of work. Personally, I realize that I will always need to acknowledge that I have a problem and continue to take steps accordingly. There is definitely no quick fix to this or any other problem or problems we may encounter in our lifetimes, but there is an opportunity to improve ourselves by the choices we make each and every day.